


Arrow man and Army guy

by TheEternalCowboy



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: Bitch slapping, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I’m tired, Other, Sad poem writing virgin, This Is STUPID, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?, an attempt at comedy, breif swearing, i should sleep
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28418637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEternalCowboy/pseuds/TheEternalCowboy
Summary: This is not to be taken seriously. I am normally a good writer but I thought I would spice it up by writing this hellish thing.Rated teen because I swear
Relationships: Platonic but I can make them be a thing in this
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	1. The Tory

**Author's Note:**

> I promise I like Julian. I just felt like bullying a Tory.

Arrow man decides it’s time he stood up to his stupid army guy. 

“ I mean who does he think he is? Ooooo I’m ranking officer ooooo! No one cares. Just shut up and loosen up or something” 

“You tell him Pat.” Julian piped up and said

“Ranking officer more like complete-wanker-wazzock face-officer!” Arrow man said 

“You tell him patty.” The trouserless Tory said

“Tell who what pat?” Army guy said as he entered the room.

“Well, cap, pat said you were and I quote a wanker wazzock face officer” Julian said in response. Even though no one asked him.

“Julian! I’m meant to tell him not you!” Pat said in his weird high pitched I’m annoyed with you voice.

“Patrick whateveryourlastnameis I simply cannot believe you would say such a thing! You truly are a horrible person! Worse then Julian! And he’s a Tory bastard.” Army guy said in a really dramatic way. He’s like Thomas with how dramatic he is.

“Hey! So what if I’m a Tory, atleast I wasn’t shot by some dumb kid!” Julian said  
“Shut your whore mouth.” Pat said  
“Atleast we have trousers Tory!” Cap said joining in on bullying the silly Tory guy that doesn’t wear trousers

Trouserless guy was so shocked and disgusted with arrow guys and army mans words that fainted and fell threw all the floors. Cap and Pat looked at each other and then fisted each other (they fist bumped) and said in unison:  
“Arrow man and army guy have done it again! But this time with a Tory”  
“Tories suck” arrow guy said to army man  
“I know right.” Army man replied

———————-FINISHED FOR NOW————————-


	2. Bitch slap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know how to summarise this mess.

“She go in big big big big big big flame.” Cave guy said

“Who’s going into a big flame rob?” Arrow guy said with him and the army fellow practicing premarital interdiegation-that’s not right- inter-delegation. Cant be that. Some weird word poet guy said. Premarital segregation? Surely not. 

“THOMAS!” Cave guy shouted 

“I’m right next to you, idiot.”the regency dandy man replied

“Me no idiot, me smarter than you in many different ways.” Cave guy said

“Name on way you pediculous beast!”

“Me better with ladies. Ask burnt lady and sister.” cave guy knowing it would affect poet guy

“And men! Ask trouserless guy and old friend from my living days!” Cave guy continued to say.

“how dare you! I had my fair share of ladies.” Poet guy said

“Who?” Cave guy said knowing thomas was a failed poet and a sad virgin(Julian taught him that word)

“Right. Hold it there.” Arrow man said knowing this was going to end up being a ridiculous stupid dumb fight. (He also knew Thomas was a sad regency poem writing virgin)

“No. No. No. no. I want to know who he did it with” cave guy said. 

“That’s rather weird” army guy piped up and said

“You rather weird” cave guy muttered

“What did you want to ask thomas” arrow said

“Say the fancy fingering word” (he means the fancy word for hand holding)

“Premarital interdigitation’ tommy boy said with ease

“Thank you. You leave now.” Robert said 

“What? Ive been forced to live in this hellish house on this stupid immortal realm so fuck off. I’ll go wherever I want to go thank you very much.” Thomas huffed in a spout of rage.

Then because poet guy was so riled up and angered by cave guys rudeness he bitch slapped him. But that wasn’t enough! He decided to use all of his strength and punch him so hard he went flying out the window and when he hit the invisible barrier thingy came flying back and landed on top of the poet dandy guy.

“Should you two be fighting so much? I mean we are stuck here for a very long time. Don’t want to make things more tense” arrow bloke asked

“He started it” poet guy said  
“You call me idiot” the cavey dude said

Then because he was sick and tired of being ignored army guy strutted over (he was like a fucking drag queen. His hips swaying from side to side, he could win Rupaul’s drag race any day! Violet chachki who?) and bitch slapped the both of them and grabbed arrow man then walked out of the room and, miraciously, slammed the damn door in their faces. 

“Bum eater” cave guy shouted at the closed door  
“I know you are” poet guy said with a smirk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update. Hope you enjoyed this terrible attempt at comedy. Comments and kudos are appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> There will be more (hopefully, maybe) at some stage!
> 
> Hope you ‘enjoyed’ and stay safe!


End file.
